美国留学 教你怎样写读书计划 - 六

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Some examples of "telling:"
"My experience as a head of the student organization increased my teamwork abilities and efficiency in problem-solving, which will be of great help in my future pursuits."
"In my experience working with senior managers, I was able to quickly build up my skills and confidence in my business abilities. I was able to endure and, in fact, began to enjoy to challenge. Overall, I considered my performance to be quite good."
"My research experience in the Department of Microbiology was my most interesting and knowledge-enhancing academic experience during college."
　　There is nothing grammatically wrong with the above examples, but none of them reveal much about their authors. What does the author of the first example mean by "increasing [his] teamwork abilities and his efficiency in problem solving?" Maybe he simply means that this was the first time he worked in a team. Or perhaps, he was responsible for something more significant, such as recruiting, organizing and supervising a group with one-hundred members. What kind of business skills did the author of the second example learn? Learning how to use a spreadsheet or learning complex financial and accounting techniques? Also, Why was the author content with his performance? Because he showed up for work everyday or because he researched a wrote a fifty-page report? What does the author of the third example mean by interesting? This adjective can refer to almost anything.
　　You can avoid this type of vagueness in your essay by learning to "show" instead of "tell." In "showing," an author supports his assertions with specific evidence and proof. Because of the inclusion of concrete examples, "showing" is much more convincing and interesting than just "telling." Here are some contrasting examples.
Tell:
"I had an large amount of responsibility in working at the ABC Community Center."
Show:
"While working at the ABC Community center I was responsible for the daily supervision of fifteen teenage counselors aged sixteen to twenty and sixty children aged five to twelve. The summer camp ran from 7:30 am until 6:00 from Monday through Friday and included daily swimming lessons and art activities, and weekly field trips."
Tell:
"During my college years, I found that I had a special interest in economics therefore have decided to pursue a graduate degree in economics."
Show:
"Two specific academic experiences influenced me to pursue studies in agricultural economics. In March 1994 a report written by myself along with ten classmates entitled "The Effect of a Free Trade Economy on the Marketing of Poultry," was published in the Journal of Agricultural Economics. This was my first experience integrating theory and practical experience and taught me a significant amount about global markets. The second experience was..."