美国留学 教你怎样写读书计划 - 九

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Revision Tips: Little Picture Details
　　After you have evaluated your essay's big picture items, it is time to take a look at the essay on a sentence and word level. Below are Bob's tips for revising the "little picture details."
Tips on Content/Subject:
1、Remove any facts or specifics that can be found in other parts of your application, such as your transcript or resume. You can refer the reader to other parts of your application by including parenthetical comments in your essay, such as "(see resume)" or "(see essay #2)."
2、Remove any criticism of previous professors, classmates, schools, or programs with which you have been involved.
3、Remove sexist or racist language.
4、Revise any blatant self-promotion, for example "I am not only an outstanding student, but also one of the most generous and giving individuals in my entire university." Detail specific examples and experiences which reveal your positive traits.
5、Remove sentences that begin with "I have always wanted to be..." Do not write about how your interest in your field of study began when you were a small child.
6、Remove empty praises of the school for which you are writing the essay. If you complement a school in a such a general way that you could praise every other school you are applying to the same way, your compliments will be taken by the schools as insincere.
7、Avoid writing with a pessimistic or depressed tone.
Other Tips:
1、Be extremely careful when using modifiers, words like beautiful, wonderful, interesting, challenging, regarding, excellent, and meaningful. Instead of using such common adjectives, describe your experiences as they actually happened.
2、Use transition words like furthermore, thus, additionally, and however, to move from paragraph to paragraph and sentence to sentence.
3、Remove qualifiers like somewhat, partially, possibly, quite, and rather. Qualifiers make the writer seem unsure and unconfident.
4、Try to make your sentences as concise as possible. Remove needless words.
5、Use a thesaurus to replace overused adjectives. Make sure to pick appropriate synonyms.
6、Make sure there are no misspelled words
7、Avoid using quotation marks to highlight "adjectives." Quotation marks should only be used to note dialogue. If you are using quotation marks to surround adjectives it means the adjective you chose does not match your intended meaning. Check a dictionary or thesaurus to find a more precise adjective to use.
And Finally:
Make sure you personally understand every word in your essay

Tips for Writing Business School Essays
　　Business schools often consider application essays a more important part of the application than other graduate programs. This is because business schools believe that job performance and job experience, which are described in application essays, are a better indicator of an applicant's business potential than academic achievement. In writing business school essays you should not only give an accurate, detailed description of yourself but also demonstrate an understanding of some part of the business world (e.g., banking, manufacturing, marketing, or consulting).
　　Here are some tips on answering the most common types of business school application essays.