哈佛学子手写札记：留学之路，让孩子做自由的鸟儿

　　前几天有一个学生来咨询留学问题，在我们的谈话过程中，这个学生充满了活力，说话非常激动。但是当我们问到她关于志愿方面的问题的时候，她突然陷入了沉默。了解之后才知道原来在她的申请中，是她的妈妈为她选择了专业。她也是在这次谈话后才知道自己将要学习的专业是心理学。在她自己知道之前，我们就已经知道了。
　　A client came in the other day for a consultation. During our conversations, she was full of energy, literally bouncing in her chair at times while talking. Then when we asked her about her intended major, she all of a sudden fell silent. It turns out that on her application, her mother actually chose her major for her. It was only at that meeting that she found out that she was going to major in psychology. We knew what she was going to study in college before she did.
　　之后我一直在脑海里回忆这件事，因为它说明了一个在中国反复出现的现象。显然，家长都想给自己的孩子最好的东西，但是很多时候，为了保证孩子以后的成功，家长们做的过于多了。
　　I kept replaying this event in my head many days afterwards, because it illustrates one reoccurring theme that I have noticed while working here in China. Parents obviously want the best for their children, but many times, overreach their jurisdictions in order to ensure their children’s sUCcess. 
　　我明白这其中有许多文化和社会因素，由于其复杂性，我们不能充分探讨。与西方国家相比，中国父母的教养方式大为不同，从传统角度来说，中国家长在孩子的生活中扮演一个更为实际的角色。同时，考虑到中国教育系统的严格性，学生们做不到将时间或者精力花费在作业以外的事情上。
　　I understand that there are many cultural and societal factors in play here that may be too complicated to explore fully.     Chinese parenting is very different from their Western counterparts, as they traditionally take a more hands-on role in their children’s lives. Also given the rigors of the Chinese edUCation system, students cannot afford to spend the time nor mental capacity to doing something outside of their coursework. I get it.
　　但这一切，我只想用一个问题来回应：如果家长溺爱他们二十几岁的孩子，尽可能地帮孩子填写好申请和选择专业，那么一旦他/她来到美国，你觉得将他/她将如何生存？如果学生只负责学习，而让父母为自己照顾好其他一切事情，那么在环境完全不同的国外，他们将如何平衡自己的生活呢？如何在学习购物、烹饪、缴纳房租和电话费以及与室友生活等生活技能的同时，应对更为困难的课程呢？
　　But to this all, I just want to respond with one question: if parents are coddling their 20 something year old children, going as far as to filling out the application and selecting a major, how do you think the student will survive once he or she reaches the US? If students have everything taken care of for them so that their only duty is to study, how will they balance living in a foreign country with a completely different environment? How will they be able to handle an arguably even more difficult curriculum in the US, while also learning for the first time daily tasks sUCh as buying groceries, cooking, paying their rent and cell phone bill, and living with a roommate. 
　　家长们是否过于注重他们的孩子将被怎样的学校录取，而忽视了孩子成长和成熟的其他方式呢？显然，对于这个问题，没有百分之百正确的答案，所以我想要听听你们的想法。你们对此有什么意见呢？
　　Are parents putting too mUCh emphasis on their what schools their children get accepted into at the expense of allowing them to grow and mature in other ways? There’s obviously no right answer to this question, so I would love to hear from you readers. What are your thoughts on this?
本文作者：前哈佛面试官、哈佛知名校友Mr. Patrick LI